Thursday, May 10, 2007

The best kind of invasion

Today I was stopped dead in my tracks while buying my lunch. There was a box of Coffee Crisp candy bars (with French subtitles!) at my friendly northern California convenience store (Red Front in Ferndale). "So what", you say? Well, Coffee Crisp is a Canadian candy bar. In the past you could not buy a Coffee Crisp in the U.S. Yes, you are reading that correctly. The home of the brave was NOT home of the best candy bar in existence (perhaps). In doing a little research I found out that there has been a campaign to bring this candy bar into the States. Yes, there are whole websites devoted to liberating this tasty treat from its socialist government. While it may say much about our culture that more people signed a petition regarding the Coffee Crisp embargo than voted in the last presidential election, they have provided us with a valuable service.

(Sidenote:I haven't been this happy to see a foreign food product since Citra, which I got addicted to in Honduras, came on the scene back in the '90's).

I have to give a little confession here (what else are blogs for?). I sort of love Canada. Yes, it kind of feels like I am cheating on my wife or betraying my friends to admit it, but I can't help it. Admittedly, I have only been to Toronto two times, so maybe I need to visit Manitoba before I proclaim my affections in such a public fashion. But when I think about my trips up to Toronto I have nothing but wonderful memories. Maybe it's because I was always hanging out with one of my best friends Dave the whole time, and he would woo me with Tim Horton's and Coffee Crisp. But I don't care. I'm out of the closet. I love Canada.

(Sidenote:Douglas Coupland is also from Canada and he is one of my favorite writers.)

I hear people mocking Canada all the time and I just don't get it. They're nice, hospitable, they invent awesome candy bars, they seem to be really healthy (which I'm hoping will happen to me when I start eating Coffee Crisps on a regular basis), they wear svelte-looking fleece vests, they have coins in 1 and 2 dollar denominations, and they are the home of Tim Horton's.

I am guessing that now that Coffee Crisp has crossed the border, all of this Canada-hate will fade into oblivion. It's that good! So, do yourself a favor and find a Coffee Crisp bar and as you bite into its, yes, crisp coffee-flavoured deliciousness, say a little prayer of thanks for our allies to the north. We've now imported fleece and Coffee Crisp. Now if we can just get Tim Horton's this side of the border...

(Sorry for all the parentheses)



Anonymous BJ Stockman said...

Why 1 and 2 dollar coins is an argument for not mocking Canada I have no idea.

(Sidenote: When people tip me Susan B. Anthony's I immediately get a bill from the register. Maybe thats the problem with those who tip in dollar coins--they're Canadian.)

Without National-centrism,

2:18 PM  
Anonymous joe said...

your arguments are weak. Canada is lame, by definition. Canadians know it. I know it. Everyone in Washington knows it. Have you ever heard a Canadian accent? obviously not. Regardless, the coffee crisp (haven't had one, I will make an effort to do so) is a nestle product, a most definitely European company. The best non-American candy bar, sez me, is the Lion Bar, also by nestle, perhaps found in canada but usually found in Europe proper. Yum.

9:45 PM  
Anonymous April Eudy said...

I too have a love for Canada. I have always wished that one day, when I have the love of a man..he would be Canadian and perhaps greet me everyday with a bag of Smarties. That I believe is true love.

5:31 PM  

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